Good questions
Thanks, Dollydo. I told my counselor that I was afraid of being on my own if AH (now XAH) left me. She pointed out that I had been on my own in the marriage for a very long time, and she was right. Now I'm on my own and don't have to worry about what he will be like when he comes home, what names he will call me when I won't "be a good wife" and how much he spent at the bars.
As someone on another thread reminded us: Alone and lonely are very different things....there are a couple of recent threads that describe the experience of living alone very well.
Good thoughts coming your way.