Lexie...
I can relate to your dilemma...big time!
Just last week, I convinced myself to ask for help with one of my files at work because I am completely overwhlmed right now.
Working weekends. Going in early....staying late. Trying to work thru problems in my head when i"m not at work... Work has consumed me lately.
And for the first time in 10 years, I actually went to my supervisor and said I needed help. It took me a long time to talk myself into doing it.
ANd I felt like a total schmuck/slacker for doing it.
My supervisor told me to write a memo for the next person outlining where the file stands. Have I done it yet? No. I'm wrestling with the idea that I should just keep it and find a way to handle it myself.
Is this a codependent trait? This need to suffer in silence? The whole martyr syndrome? I guess it must be.
There's no doubt in my mind I"m a very hard worker...a very valuable employee. So why the guilt? This feeling of failure? It seems rediculous to me. Come to think of it, I struggled with alot of the same emotions/thoughts when deciding to end my marriage.
I'm going to try to let it go. I hope you will too.
LIfe's too short to sweat the small stuff...and this IS small stuff, ya know?
Hugs and understanding...
Mary