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Old 07-19-2011, 04:02 PM
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LexieCat
A work in progress
 
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Second-guessing myself

Aw, man. I still know how to drive myself crazy, even with no alcoholics in spitting distance.

Remember my "Project Number 2" at work, that got postponed until September at the earliest? I found out today that no actual date for this project will be SET until September. Under those circumstances, it could not occur before sometime in October, and if it got postponed again, well, we are running right into my retirement at the end of November.

I talked to the person who assigned the project to me--I'd scheduled a meeting with her to discuss some of the issues that have had me going in circles. So I tell her today that I'm thinking MAYBE the project should be reassigned to someone else. She wasn't upset, but her initial thinking was that we should try to move it up to actually occur in September. I had a few other problems with that, and sort of hemmed and hawed. Finally she said, "Sounds like you'd really LIKE for it to be reassigned." I said yeah, but I don't wanna be a wussy girl and come right out and ask. She knows what a problem this project has been, and will continue to be. I have been dealing with it for over two years now. It is likely to be a mess for whoever handles it--me or anyone else. I also, realistically, have all this other crapola on my plate at work that I'd like to clean up for whoever takes my job when I leave.

So, anyway, she calls me later this afternoon and says, "Problem solved!"--one of my colleagues agreed to take it. Now, we are ALL overworked, and I am second-guessing myself and wondering whether I am taking the easy way out and dumping my problem on someone else. I talked to the guy handling it, and I will be available to help get him up to speed and to take care of a few preliminary things before he has to take responsibility for it. (There is, still, a POSSIBILITY that the whole thing will go away.)

Damn. Who knows, though, maybe this guy who is taking it will have a fresh eye and do a better job than I would have. He's handled projects like this more recently than I have (the last time I did one of these was several years ago--he handles them all the time). I feel like I'm rationalizing it now.

I keep going in circles and I need to LET GO OF IT. The angst, I mean. I can work hard for the next couple of weeks to give it to him in the best shape I can get it in, and I have plenty to keep me busy until the end of November.

I'll give my sponsor a call later tonight and see what she has to say. I have a feeling I am beating myself up needlessly. Arrrgh.
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