Wellnowwhat- My AH has done most of his drinking at night when the kids are in bed too and although it then leads to day drinking at times (more often surely than I ever knew), I had a hard time believing/accepting that there was a problem for a long long time bc he wasn't fitting the mold of the typical alcoholic... He'd point this out to me too and so I "normalized" what was farrrrr from normal for a long time.... Your post resonated with me on many levels-- thanks...