I am sitting here this morning asking myself pretty much the same thing. Where our stories differ is that we are a few years behind you. My AH is still high functioning, but it seems that maybe slowly starting to change too. His personality is so different. He used to be a confident (maybe even too confident), loving and well spoken man. While he was always somewhat self centered, he seems all consumed with himself at this point. Every time we sit down to talk about our relationship there is never one word of compassion for what his alcoholism has done to me and our relationship. It is all self pity, sometimes lies, with an overtone of him trying to make me feel bad for not being a better wife. I think it has reached that scary point of taking over his personality, drinking or not. The man I love and married 21 years ago seems lost somewhere inside.... and I really, really miss him. It is heartbreaking to see them pick the booze over family, but now at least I know it has nothing to do with me. Hugs.