Knowing what I know now, I could never go back to drinking. My life is drama free. I've made great gains from the hole I dug. I didn't think I'd ever regain the trust I lost by lying about my drinking. I like being reliable, sensible and responsible. Most importantly, I don't think I have the strength to go back to drinking. I thought it was hard trying to quit drinking. Thinking back, drinking, the way I did, was the hardest think I ever had to keep up. It was sickeningly, exhausting.