Craving contact during No Contact
I have had no contact with my XABF for 3 1/2 weeks now. I'm having a hard time today. I miss him so much. Sunday mornings were always ours alone. He'd make french toast and bacon and we'd do the crossword puzzle together. I have a king-sized bed and miss rolling over to see him there. I've been sleeping across the top of the bed so it doesn't seem so empty.
And to be honest here, I'm really kinda hurt that I haven't heard from him. How weird is that? I mean, I blocked his number from me & my teenage son's cell phones. I was the one who initiated the no-contact. I'm mentally torturing myself here. In the past he left sticky love notes all over my Jeep, a rose on my windshield, and sent me cards and text messages. Now, nothing and I'm wondering if he's okay? I wouldn't even go to my mom's last week because I didn't want to drive anywhere near his house. I've been resisting the temptation to drive by because I'm afraid of what I might find. I've been avoiding my friends and family because I start crying at the drop of a hat and feel pathetic at times.
I must be a sick because it's like I'm craving attention from him when I know it's wrong.