I think there is healthy recovery and going to meetings every hour doesn't in itself make it so. If he is sober and this is the best he can do than it may just be that this is the best he can do sober at this time. Hopefully he will be able to venture outside that bubble because too much of anything (esp at a cost to other things) isn't good.
You said he was an avoider so perhaps that is where this stems from (not AA). But as an observer I wonder how well you are able to communicate all these thoughts to him and have an honest dialogue. Maybe there is a communication issue between the two of you if his current approach is straining your situation.
I have heard that in some SLE's, it isn't a good idea to bring children due to the backgrounds of some of the residents. Hopefully he is protective of them regardless.