Thank you for this post. The part I was really able to relate to was about making decisions on what you hoped would happen.
The day my exAH and I got engaged I said something to the effect of I would like to move back to the east coast (where I am from) at some point. He agreed that he thought that would work for him. We started our life together and as we made some big choices a long the way that would always be a discussion point that he would continue to agree with. As the drinking escalated though his feelings about moving would too (we moved to his home town). I struggled to see that with out me realizing it the rules had shifted. I struggled feeling like I had done something wrong or bad for having feelings that did not match with his, that I did not love where my life was at etc.
It was hard for me to realize how important I needed to be...not only in my relationship but to myself. I heard that coming through loud and clear on your post and I appreciate the reminder.