This is getting interesting. I can see both points of view and agree with them. Dam you shades of gray!
My take on this is that I was using unconditional love as a reason to control my wife's behavior and prevent her from hurting herself. (being Codie)
I also agree that there have been several post with an underlying "love conquers all" theme and I can use my love to save them. (Codie and denial)
It is easy when you love someone to want to help them or even save them. This leads to control and losing yourself in the concept of unconditional love. The more it hurts the more it shows you really care.
Take what you want and leave the rest.