actually believes you can love and/or control somebody into sobriety
I think that's where my daughter is right now with AW. A few weeks ago, daughter confronted AW again about her drinking, and AW said daughter and I were just trying to control her.
AW finally did (peevishly) agree to stop, but it didn't last. She was drunk again within two weeks. That was when Daughter came to me and said that maybe AW was right, that we were trying to control her. (Daughter still doesn't think AW is alcoholic).
I didn't argue... I gave that up months ago. I think I'm just biding my time until Daughter moves out of the house and I get up the courage to divorce AW.
As this relates to the topic of unconditional love, I think Daughter loves her mother unconditionally, but I don't love my alcoholic wife unconditionally. That may explain why I am more willing to let go than she is. If it were my daughter who was the alcoholic, I might find it equally difficult to let it go.