Sharkbait,
You have been through the wringer, haven't you? You are doing what's best for yourself and she is doing what's best for her right now.
you don't have to decide everything today. You don't have to decide ANYTHING today. You can just resolve to treat yourself well, kindly and gently. And tomorrow will take care of it's self.
It is hard. So, so hard. Keep coming back here and posting. There are lots of people with great experience to offer.