Sharkbait

Man this is tough.

i have never one anything near as tough as this. Im a that point with AW.
but first a bit of background.

she drinks alot and has done for 10 years or so.
I think i have been tru the spectrum of support methods before discovering the the C's.

2 nights ago after being told by AW several time for the past few weeks that she is over rinking and wants to be done we went out for a bit of a date night.
We went to the movies, she brought along a big hip flask of vodka and rank that through the movie.
we left halfway through (partly because the movie ragged, mostly because she was drunk and falling asleep and complaining about the movie)

we went and saw her mum to borrow a cake tin so she can make a bday cake for my youngest son, got a present from her mum, ha an aurgument with her mum,
abused me when she got in the car to go home.
i told her to walk home because you do not treat me like that and then expect a ride home.

She walked home i stayed with her mum for a bit and we talk about AW and her alcoholism.
I tell her mum i am at the end of my rope and dont know how much more i can take.
i leave after a bit.
I arrive home at the same time as AW.
she goes to bed, i stay up.
she gets up an hour or so later and acts as if nothing has happened because she cant remember it.
arguement( where i keep a calm lowered voice the entire time)
i leave in the morning before she wakes to spend time with my family from interstate who arrived that day. i arrive back after spending the day out.
she has been down on herself the entire day.
drunk again
we make up a fair amount( at least to the point of wanting to work things out
then mood flip in a instant.
im a fing f for forgetting that i had the cake tin in the car and now everyone is going to think she is worthless because she couldnt make a cake and its all my fault.
various other attacks at me.
the comes back to bed with her last words " you realy know how to make me feel lke ****"
i get up for a smoke sick of being attacked.
she comes down i tell her to go away i do not want to be around her right now.
she refuses
i ask several more times she refuses
i leave the room and go to another.
she follows to continue the argument.
she walks out half way thru and goes to bed.
i stay up with everything on my mind.
also keeping in mind that i was to pick up my three boys in themorning for access weekend.
i fall asleep at 730 on the couch.
woken at 830 by her standing over me.
she tells me she has a spot in the morning at the detox place to get clean.
i forget what else was said but the air was tense.
i walk out the house without saying much and pick up my boys to spend time with my family from melbourne.

she is now at her mum's waiting to be taking to detox (by her mum not me)
i get a phone call which i miss from her mum.
it was her. talk to her and she is sorry, tells me she loves me.
her mum gets back on the phone and starts guilting me into staying with AW.
I stop her and say i cant take it all.
I have 3 boys to look out for.
i know the timing is bad but i cant take anymore.

I just cant take anymore.
im now not answering her phone calls.
thank fully calls with stop when she goes into detox.
thank fully my family is amazing and is helping me be strong.
this is so hard to stay strong esp when i have the boys, but at the same time they are giving me strength.
ive broken down so many times today my eyes are killing me.
I love her to bits but i just cant take anymore,
i cant take the abuse the anger the feeling that im the bad guy that is the cause of the problems.

i need some help, some kind words or some harsh truths.

All i know right know is this is the hardest thing i have EVER done in my life, and its so hard to be strong.