Cyranoak -
Comparing Unconditional love and Control is like comparing the Ocean and the Desert. While I do think some try to mask control with love - that is not something that is unique to dealing with alcoholics. That is something that is wide spread. People take something good all the time and use it for something bad. A good example is religion. Religion is meant to unite people, bring people closer to their purpose for living - yet why are there so many wars and so many people being killed in the name of it?
But that doesn't mean that God doesn't exist and that doesn't mean that Love doesn't exist. Every person is unique and only they can reflect on their actions and know their motivations.
But do I believe in Unconditional Love? Of course. It is what makes life mysterious and enjoyable. Without it, I would still be the same person I was when I was teenager. I am grateful for it. Not only for receiving it, but being able to give it as well.
I am reading a book right now called the Undiscovered Self by C.G. Jung. In it he talks about how people have become disconnected from themselves by subscribing to ideologies and mass thinking. They don't know who they are. He argues that it is only by reconnecting with our true nature and answering our own moral dilemmas free of "mass thinking" that we can be authentic.
Every person is free to think what they want and become what they want. We all make choices. I can be a loving person or I can be a cynical person - I hope I chose the latter.
Panther