*SIGH*
I wanted to believe in love and all that ****. I wanted the man that I fell in love with back. I thought recovery would be the cure-all. It wasn't. But you know what it is...a new beginning...for both of us.
Acceptance isn't approval. It is just calling it what it is - today.
Today, I live in my own home with my daughters, two dogs, and one chinchilla. We moved out of my husband's home in January and at the time, he was almost 2 months sober. But you know what - like Suki says above, he was still an a-hat without alcohol. Crossed my boundaries one too many times...I got tired of hearing myself threaten, and one day just walked.
Now - 8 months sober, he is finally beginning to "get it" and talk honestly with me. We remain separated, but spending time together, getting to know each other again.
I married a myth, a fraud, an alcoholic. My reality was not nor ever was his reality. Why? Because he's an alcoholic. It is what it is. And acceptance of my reality was the path to my serenity, and I am so much happier now that when I first joined SR.
P.S. I still love my husband. But I love me more.