Mediation worked for me.
My XAH was halfway across the country and in "ill health" per his lawyer (um, duh), so he did his part over the telephone. Mostly we were negotiating alimony, as I make a very good living and he hadn't worked in 5 years.
Our mediator was very frank with him that was he was asking for was unreasonable and we ended up meeting in the middle. It was still challenging, but a LOT easier than going to court. Cheaper too.
His lawyer must have beat into him that this is a no-fault state, and that I WILL get the divorce, and if he wanted any say in it, he'd have to participate. Or something like that.
Now, my XAH was not abusive or controlling in any way. Mostly he was inert and didn't do anything. I do distinctly remember them asking multiple times if I was afraid or intimidated of him, so I'm certain that they take extra precautions in those instances.