Originally Posted by
KittyP 
But his experience is not the universal experience and it's not really fair to make sweeping statements that can discourage people.
Nor is it fair to give false hope to those experiencing similar circumstances.
On several occasions here, I've asked for others to share their success stories. This in hopes to balance out what I see as a very low "cure" rate. My data pool is this forum, my home, my family, my wife's family, my friends and their families, neighbors, and people at work.
I'm just not hearing many versions of: "My spouse finally sought help for her alcoholism. And after XX number of months my spouse has broken the chains and our lives together have improved dramatically". In fact, I've not heard a single example of a similar story. Not one. I hope they are out there.
Most of the stories I hear are painfully familiar to my own: After many years of the non alcoholic spouse trying everything they can think of, they eventually tell the alcoholic to get help. The alcoholic begrudgingly heads out on an apparent quest for sobriety. Unfortunately the alcoholic doesn't fully mend, usually relapses back to drinking, and the cycle continues. Albeit, perhaps not as severe of a problem as it was. Yet.
This basic story seems the one most often played. Certainly it is not 100% accurate for every situation.
From my perspective, the cold hard truth is recovery is a very rare commodity indeed. And those coming here seeking the truth should hear it.
And of course, there was a certain amount of venting in the original post. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate it.
Some have posted the question of why I am still around. I shall answer. I'm leaving for Afghanistan in October for a year. With a high school age daughter in the house, I am far more comfortable being married to her and 6000 miles away than I am being un-married, 6000 miles away, and a large portion of my income being fed directly to her. All this with absolutely zero input or control over the household. It is a small price to pay in an effort to keep my daughter from experiencing further abuses. She is old enough now to see right through her mother's lies and fabrications. And she will never have to deal with any other men in the house when I'm gone. Oh, there certainly may be other men in my house. I am not so naive as to think it impossible. But they will not be there when my daughter is there. And that is worth a small sacrifice on my part. One more year tacked on to the 22 isn't going to make much difference in the grand scheme of things.