I totally agree that someone who has not lived with an alcoholic has no clue that there is NOTHING anyone can do to make them stop drinking. Heck, for the longest time, I thought that if I just loved and supported my ex enough, he would stop drinking. I loved him, I supported him....he still kept drinking.
I went to a few AA meetings with my ex when we were together. I thought the meetings and the life wisdom I heard shared there were fantastic. Even though I'm not an alcoholic, I thought, wow, these are great lessons to be learned here just about life in general. But ultimately, I couldn't absorb the lessons FOR him, he had to do it himself, and he chose not to.