Originally Posted by
Smudg3r 
Thanks.
No, I have no excuses. It was some form of mental aberration.
I could almost 'see myself' doing it but I had no power to stop myself. Almost like what I'd imagine an out of body experience to be like. I was sort of numb.
Then I found myself drinking and enjoying it, apparently without guilt.
You all know what I am feeling today. My resistance is very low now.
Well... to examine your thoughts leading up to your choice to use... I wouldn't call them excuses at all. I think being a detective and trying to get inside your head... to find out a reason or trigger or thought that lead up to you going inside there, that's constructive. I don't see it as making an excuse at all. It's more like being an objective scientist. It can only be a good thing to try and figure out what lead up to it, no?
So sorry you fell off your wagon, and don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure you're experiencing enough guilt just from the hangover and physiological aspect alone. Good for you for posting about it!
