In our marriage we always made joint decisions. So making decisions by myself was very scary. I would have to take the blame for anything that went wrong.
Things that helped me:
The old pros and cons list. It helps me to see them on paper and also to do a kind of flowchart of what could happen-knowing full well that my worst fear are no more likely to occur than a happy ending.
Talk it over with a friend who's wisdom I value.
The other thing that has helped me is what my therapist told me. Very few decisions are truly irreversible. You can change your mind. It made the weight of making a decision less all or nothing for me.
Do what is best for you.
You both sound like you are in early recovery and you might need to keep more space for yourself until you become stronger in your recovery.
Try Al-Anon if you haven't already. It will help you find tools to fight off those codependent behaviors and put the focus back on you in your life.
Best of luck to you.I hope it works out for the best.