A big part of this whole thing for me was when I could separate the drinking from the rest. I concentrated so hard on the drinking that I really had no clue as to whether there was anything else to consider. All I ever thought was, Get him to quit drinking and everything will be great.
I think in any marriage - long-term, short-term, addictive or not, there are compromises. Nothing is ever perfect. The difference, to me, in a non-addictive marriage is that there is communication regarding the issues and hopefully, your spouse is willing to make some compromises of their own.
I think with any marriage, I have to access whether the compromises I am making are ones I am willing to make. I can live with toilet seats left up, fishing obsessions, different taste in movies and messy garages. I don't think I'm willing to live with someone is incapable or unwilling to share a life with me.
L