My stbxah and your bf must be the same person!! I know exactly where you are coming from, and I have tried SO hard to understand. The only thing I can say that helped me was that it is IMPOSSIBLE to try to understand such irrational behavior! I am still working on trying to focus on how I got myself into this relationship and how I can get myself out. He is going to do what he does, and as long as I allow him to do it...it continues. The only thing I have found that works for me is getting away from him/it. I knw how much this type of behavior hurts....take care and hugs to you!