OK guys. I've thought about this a lot over the last few days. I understand what you're all saying but I understand what I'm saying too.
This morning I had what I think is a big realization. I think that my expectations are things that I expect of myself.
I think that I have always expected more of myself. I think that's what has made me so crazy all these years. I am disappointed in myself - not anyone else.
I never expected that I would allow myself to live my life this way. I never expected that I would raise my children in an alcoholic home. I never expected that I would sacrifice my self-respect for anyone.
I know now that many of my expectations of myself were unreasonable. I shouldn't expect to be perfect or to fix everyone else's problems.
In order to be at peace, I need to have reasonable expectations of myself and live up to those expectations. It's all about me - as always.
Thanks Bell for keeping at me on this and sorry, breec, for hijacking your thread.
I really think that my HP has kept pulling this subject up for a reason.
I expect myself to keep trying and I am living up to that one.
Hugs - L