mkb87

I am. My husband was an amazing man until he started getting into drugs. In the past year he has experimented with crack, crystal meth, and pills, but marijuana and that "fake weed"/herbal incense they sell "not for human consumption" are his DOCs. Up until about a week ago, he had been clean for a month, I believe, and before that, a month or two.

I have been an enabler in the past, and I am also a recovering addict (crack and methadone) since May of 2009. I quit everything cold turkey when my husband and I met. I thought he just smoked weed socially, since I had never known anyone who was actually addicted to it, and at that time socially smoking weed didn't bother me. I don't smoke it myself because I don't really get high off of it, just feel sick to my stomach. So weed is not a trigger for me, although now that I have children I don't like to be around it, and I always thought my husband would stop using it socially after our kids were born, but he didn't...he started doing it more!

I think I hurt more people in the past by enabling their addictions than I did by using.

I don't want to enable anymore, but I already see myself doing it...

My husband went to jail for paraphernalia this week. He swears that if they test the pipe all they will find is that "legal weed" he has been smoking, but I don't know. If he pleads not guilty and they don't find anything illegal in his pipe, the charge may get thrown out. Or maybe not, since that stuff is meant to be used as incense and not smoked, so he would be using it illegally, anyway (I think). All of that will play out in court eventually. I bonded him out. I let him since in there while I was at work so waiting on him to get out wouldn't make me late or rob me of time with the kids during the day. He normally stays home with the kids since he's disabled, but I don't feel safe with him doing that, anymore, since I know for sure he's been using behind my back, probably around them (they are 1 and a newborn). I have a babysitter for the time being, but I'm not sure how long.

He says he wants help. This was his first time going to jail, and other than driving while suspended (license suspended for child support, which is now paid), he has never been in any kind of legal trouble. He said that he cried when he was being booked in, that he sat and stared at the walls the whole time he was in jail and wouldn't eat or talk to anybody, etc. He says he really thought I wouldn't get him out or be there for him when he did get out.

As far as helping him, I don't know where to start...there is not a lot out there for marijuana addiction, it seems like. Most people (myself included before I found out about him and started doing research) don't even believe it's addictive. He has Medicare, and we don't have anything close to the money to be able to pay out of pocket, so it's hard to find a rehab that will take him. I get that I can only help him if he wants the help, but I am still at a loss. I really don't know what to do now.