I'm with you GettingBy (at least on my strong days)!! I'm still working on setting boundaries with myself, but here is one from last night I'm quite proud of
Last night I suspected mine of drinking. He took a long afternoon nap and then went into the basement to play video games. Normally I would have gone down into the basement, smelled every cup down there, and searched all his hiding spots looking for any trace of alcohol to prove that I'm right. (don't ask me how that makes me the winner or makes me feel good, but its what I'm trying NOT to do anymore). Anyways, I put on a girly movie and at 8pm still no sign of him. I make myself dinner, just enough for me. Around 9pm he comes back upstairs and is hurt that I ate dinner without him. I just kept saying in my head that I'm not his mother, it's not my job to cook for him, not my job to make sure he eats, and if he wants to be alone in his basement thats his choice too. It felt great and I went to bed happy and full
He cooked a frozen pizza that I heard him throw up later that night...