Here's an example of one of my boundaries in action... (My boundary is that I will not allow my life activities to revolve around or be ruined by anyone's drinking, or the consequences of their drinking.)
I was at party on Sunday evening with the kids and AH. We were all getting ready to leave, everybody loaded in the car, car started (I was driving)... and about to drive away. In that fleeting moment, AH decided he wasn't drunk enough yet... and wanted to stay. "Ok!" I said, "We'll see you later! Have a good night!" and I drove away. About 2/3rds of the way home, I see his wallet in my cup holder - "OH well. Not my problem!". The kids and I got home, made a giant fort, climbed in it and went to sleep! The next day, we had planned to go to the beach so the kids could chill out... and that's just what the 3 of us did. AH called around noon, all pissy because he had no money and he wanted to come home, and no one would drive. I said, "Well, we're busy right now and will get to you as soon as we can." And that was the end of the conversation.
Before I set my boundary... the whole thing would have played out something like this...
AH says he wants to stay - I would try to reason with him why that was a bad idea and when that didn't work - scream at him to get in the car and come home - and if that didn't work, drive off in a fit of rage... only to get more mad when I saw his wallet... which I would then turn around to drive it back to him, only to start the argument up again, or *gasp* play the role of the savior for bringing him his wallet. And then I'd go home at night, not sleep, and stew about how insensitive, irresponsible, lazy, unappreciative (get the picture?!?!) he was! Only to wake up the next morning, tired and hungover from overindulging MY emotions... and then begrudgingly re-arrange my day because we have to go get Daddy.... and then throw it in his face that our day was ruined because of his lousy choices.
For me, my boudnary means realizing that people around me are not an extension of me. I don't have to let their choices ruin my life - I can make choices to protect me. I can choose to participate... and if the situation gets to a point where I am no longer comfortable/enjoying myself - I can choose to stop participating!! I don't have to rearrange my plans to save/rescue/caretake for another human being. I can choose to carry on with whatever it is that I WANT to do, or whatever is good/safe for ME.
Thanks for letting me share my experience!
Shannon