The suggestion was to call the police on the supplier of alcohol, not on Amber herself. No one is calling the police here, Sheneedshelp never mentioned it, so let's let that go for a minute.
Getting whoever happens to be getting the booze most of the time in trouble is not going to stop an addict from finding their DOC. We all know that. They will find another way, another source.
I don't see anger or resentments being targetted at Amber, I see a mother and father who have set a boundary, and stuck to it. They chose to "cut her off" so to speak, to quit enabling her by letting her live there and continue with the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. They determined what was acceptable behavior in their home, and she chose not to abide by their rules. I think what sheneeds did was very healthy, and hopefully will be the first step toward sanity for her and her husband and the rest of the kids. Their daughter may have years ahead of her battling this, but at least her parents know that they aren't supporting the progression of the disease in the way they were before the boundary was drawn.
I understand and sympathize with the idea of researching treatments and facilities for her, but looking at these boards makes it very obvious to many of us that forcing someone into rehab when they don't want it is a waste of money and a waste of time. If she comes back, and wants help, then absolutely, I'm sure her parents would be more than happy to help her. But until then, there isn't much anyone can do. She is officially an adult now, has been for over a year. It doesn't hurt to research, and have the information ready for when/if she wants it, but right now, if I'm not mistaken, Amber won't even discuss her drinking with her parents, let alone admit she has a problem and needs help. Discussing rehab or treatment facilities will probably drive her further away.
Sheneeds, I commend you for giving your daughter the dignity and respect to live her life the way she chooses, even though you don't agree with it. Letting her learn the art of responsibility, and to experience the raw results of her consequences is a gift that far too often is not bestowed upon the youth of today.
