I think that every parent has their "saturation point"....you take as much grief as you can hold and then some, you offer help, guidance and your child will STILL pee up your leg and tell you "it's raining".
some kids have parents who bend over backwards to provide a better life...and are played the fool. Age 19 is old enough to know right from wrong. Mom was naive for a while, now she is heartsick and trying to show Amber that drinking and running around without clothing on is NOT acceptable behavior when mom and dad are footing the bills.
Amber knew without a doubt that she was taking her parents alcohol, she played them for fools again and again....when she is ready to accept that her behavior is damaging to her future and her ability to maintain a real relationship, she just might think that Mom and Dad were correct...and at that point, professional help and a program would be beneficial.
right now, all she is interested in doing is partying with friends...and accept the consequences if that's what she wants.
I know that sick and nauseated feeling and not being able to relax my stomach muscles...it took about 6-8 months of my daughter living with her father for it to stop.....she NEVER would pull any crap with him, because she knew he would not take it....she either behaved or he would personally escort her everywhere and wait for her.
We once had to fly her home from Texas when she ran off with a boy.....after she came back he handed her his bill for the$800.00 airfare and made her go to work to pay him XX amount of $$ every week...no more pedicures, eyebrow waxing and cigarettes/starbucks....until after he took the $35.00 from her paycheck. when she ran up an enourmous cell phone bill, he cut it off...she was welcome to open up another account with only her name on the account...same for car insurance.
I don't think teaching responsibility is a bad thing for any parent.