Lots of fireworks at your house this 4th of July, eh, Z? I remember those fights, and no I don't think it's juvenile. I think its human to just get fed up and angry.
I have met a lot of long-time recovering RA's at open AA meetings. A handful pretty miserable dry drunks, but most of them are really cool and interesting people. Dedicated to working the program, giving service to others, etc. I do think people can commit and be successful to recovering from an addiction. Your wife is just not at that place, nor does she care to be there anytime soon. Is frustrating for you and your kids, I know.