Z,
I would never in a million years invalidate your experience. I agree with you, that until an alcoholic is REALLY committed to recovering, and willing to do the hard work that goes with the territory, the craziness just won't stop.
I wonder, though, why you find it so necessary to invalidate my experience, and that of the many other recovered/recovering alcoholics in this forum, and those whose partners have recovered. I think you underestimate the number who do recover, when they set out to do it.
I'm sorry you are still living with the insanity. When are you planning to move on?