I do understand what went on between my friend and me. Listen, I left the country in 2004 and didn't get back til last year when I was too involved with my marital problems to see him regularly. In the intervening years, he's made relationships and a community for himself. Good for him.
For better or for worse, I have become an outsider. It hurts, but it's more of a reminder that I need to do the same for myself. And BTW, I wouldn't necessarily say I was asking him to choose. Remember, I actually didn't say anything to him about it the same night, though I did say yesterday: "Hey, I should've asked you to join me for 10min, as I'd walked all that way." And he said: "I wouldn't have joined you anyway." And "You're freaking out."
Yes, live and learn. Starting another phase of life is never easy.