Old 07-03-2011, 01:36 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
dollydo
I'm no angel!
 
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
My mother used to lay on the guilt, she finally gave up, when she realized that tactic was no longer working.

Someone once said to me..."Guilt is directly related to being a people pleaser." Don't know if that is true, but, I for one was a people pleaser.

Your mom is going to pull out every trick in her bag to get you to do what she wants. She is not considering you or anyone elses feelings, it is all about your alcoholic sister, is this unfair? Yes, is there anything you can do about it? No.

To me, when a member of a family crawls into the bottle, and, becomes an alcoholic, it becomes impossible for the family to sustain itself in a healthy way. I have learned that I can only save myself, and, must do what I need to do to enforce my bounderies.

It is not a matter of choosing sides, it is a matter of protecting yourself, a matter of not being drawn into your sisters toxic behavior and your mothers enabling. If they choose to interact that way, that is up to them, it does not mean that you have to contribute to their madness.

I understand that this is not easy, but, your bounderies will keep you healthy, and believe it or not your stress level will start to reduce.

I agree with Freedom, you are setting a wonderful example for others in your family.

Have a great 4th, a day that is all about individual freedom, how appropiate!
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