Thanks Freedom1990,
I can understand how my mother feels like I am turning against her by stepping away from AS. But that doesn't give her the right to guilt me for it right? I wouldn't even of recognized that she was trying to make me feel guilty unless you mentioned it. When your so used to someone's behavior you don't pick up on those things.
I talked to my other S who is going to the meeting tonight with us. My mom called her right after she got off the phone with me saying how she is going to have to make up an excuse to my AS why she and the rest of the fam aren't coming over to protect AS feelings. An excuse other than the reality of I am not comfortable around her. What about everyone else's feelings???!!! maybe my nieces and my father want to come over anyways.
My mom is still planning on going to the meeting. I think she thinks the meeting will turn me and S back on my mom's side, since I guess we are choosing sides at this point. Hopefully she is in for a wake up call. I'm preparing myself for her to walk out of this saying it isn't for her although I am praying that she chooses recovery.
Tuffgirl: Thanks for helping me with creating boundaries. I think this is going to be real important not only with my AS my especially my mother. The example you gave about you RAH really put things in perspective. I liked how you were able to roll it off and continue with your day. You are able to not get mad, forgive, and accept the apology and still enjoy your time together. That's pretty incredible! I'm really beginning to see how involved the boundaries can get and it's going to be hard not trying to force it on my mother and trying to find some balance. She is an addict herself in her relationship with my AS. Any ideas? Is there a way to not enable an enabler if that makes any sense?
I really really really appreciate everyone's support. I had no idea how it was going to be when I first posted here but I know I have come to the right place. I'm starting to feel a little guilty though about it all being ME ME ME. Did you feel like that at first???