BTW, my daughter is now 30...she pushed my buttons, ran up my credit cards ( igave her a card to use at school for emergencies,...LMF(little miss Fandy) HID THE 6K BILL FROM ME...until it was ready to go to a judgement and i found out while at work)...I paid it to protect my credit...at that point, she was 24 years old, living with her boyfriend i think....I changed the locks and told her she was "off my payroll"..and not welcome until she showed me some respect....she had not called me until her father died and then she asked me for $1200. planefare from Dallas to NJ...I told her she should ask her father's family...I did see her recently at my mother's funeral, she looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders...but she is managing, she inheirited 2 houses, one on a very nice beach...she is paying the taxes, working and grumbled that she had a gray hair....She is not partying and wearing expensive clothes. She seems to be an adult. (for now)....I am cauteously extending the olive branch...but all of my "Estate" is in the very capable hands of my brother in case something should happen to me, because I do not trust her...(she also previously went through another inheiritance of $40K in a year, after I paid the judgement...drugs, booze and living it up).
I can forgive financial mistakes, we all make them...but doing it over and over again is just something I do not have the tolerance for...she is an ADULT...not a smal child to be protected...it is her choice, i do not participate..she can tell all of her "excuses" to the mirror.
What would happen if your 40 year old son actually had to deal with real life???? like the rest of us???? You are not always going to be there to care for him...suppose YOU need care??? would he do the same for you???