[QUOTE]
Originally Posted by
Fandy 
I think that around here Helecoptor mom phrasing is used for hovering mother's mostly around teenagers who guard them closely, too closely, they smother the kids.
IDK if that applies to the 40 year old camping out for free in your house causing you extreme anguish and upset....but from reading your postings, he is sucking the life out of YOU....Self preservation always comes first in my book.
if this was a man in my life, believe me, that would be so much easier. i have been divorced 4 times. lots of poor choices and denial in my life.
I divorced the first Mr. Fandy 25 years ago, lots of drugs, booze and rich food...He moved back in with his mother at age 49 or 50....She found him dead in his bed one morning...I always think that he died of stupidity...He had the $$ for dope and booze every single day of his life, but cried poormouth at taking himself to the doctor when he had neuropathy in his legs...IDK for sure, but I think he had a DVT that broke loose and traveled to his heart...He'll never get to see his future grandchildren or walk his only daughter down the aisle.
That is sad. But you took care of you and your child. no one was going to do that for you.
YOU can't fix him, you know this, but you sure can save yourself....it is very hard to know what's best, but you deserve some peace of mind and only you can protect yourself. I think you should make him leave and either he will sink or swim...anything is better than watching him do it....suppose he sets your house on fire smoking?
yes. i know I cant fix him. I was hoping he would fix his self, but life being made easier for him is only making the bottom farther away. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to accept. and it is taking a long time, guess i am putting my head in the sand when things are calm. that is disgusting.
thanks Fandy. you are all very kind to take the time to talk to a floundering codie.
love
chicory