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Old 07-03-2011, 08:12 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
chicory
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QUOTE=LexieCat;3022012]Chicory, sweetie,

I'm a mom, too. I do, I DO get how hard it is to watch one's children make horrible choices.

Yes, to some extent, he is using you. You are, however, permitting it. Maybe not willingly or completely voluntarily, but you are the ONLY one who can change the situation.
Lexie, this is so true. I have been waiting for help. it is not gonna happen.and hoping (denial) that he might get a grip and get on his feet here.that is not gonna happen either.


My sense is that you are more afraid you will be unable to bear the pain, than you are afraid of anything else. I'm not saying you don't care about him. But I think it's your own fear of your own fear that is holding you back more than anything else.
I've heard you say over and over how much you would worry, how you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if something terrible happened to him after you kicked him out.
yes, so true. but all the family pretty much thinks he cant do it on his own. they know and say that his thinking isn't right.He justifies every thing he has ever done.every job he does not try for, there is a reason. i think he is afraid, too. i almost feel like i am putting a mentally ill person out. but maybe the things he thinks will change, with the right consequences. maybe he can survive.

Change is scary, uncomfortable, and often downright painful. You are a strong person. You have lots of support here. You have a HP who will get you through it.
yes, it is. i have never liked change much. but i know that the support here and God, will get me through. Just gotta do it, you are right.

But you gotta LET GO. Have faith that you will get through it. You can't stop him from drinking whether he is there or out on the street. This week has proved that, hasn't it? Your friend couldn't save her son's life. Are you so much more powerful than she was? Do you think if you love him harder than she did, it will make a difference?

Hugs, I know how hard this is for you. But I think you are stronger than you think you are.
I hope that you are right.
thank you so much,
love,
chicory
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