M1k3-Their father is in the military. He is stationed in Seattle right now where my AS has gone back in forth between my parents and him the last 4 years. He enlisted about 2 weeks after my AS had her first daughter. They got married shortly after. He is coming back mid July. No idea what his plans are.
Dollydo-You hit the nail right on the head. My mother has a sick obsession with my AS sister and since I have been the "non judgemental" one lately, she has brought me in full force on this merry go round with her since no one else is willing to do it. She thinks my other sisters are being selfish and that we all need to be nice to my AS and put her feelings before our own. My mom fears that AS will take her kids out of my parents home and she will never see them again if she upsets my AS.
Freedom1990-I pray someday that my mother will become strong enough like you. All 4 of us are adopted and I think she blames her self for that and enables more because she took us on in her life and needs to fix everybody and their situations. She has been an enabler her entire life. Not just with AS but with raising all of us.
NYCdoglvr and kittykitty-Your exactly right about my life vs my mothers. After I told her yesterday that I didn't think my AS was taking being in the sober house seriously by reaching out to her addict friend, she questioned me, not sure if she believed me and I haven't heard from her since yesterday. We usually talk multiple times a day because of AS and I am seeing now how this has been toxic. It's probably better off I didn't hear from her.
Would anyone give some examples of setting boundaries for my AS and my mother?
What is the difference between recovering alcoholic and alcoholic? and are they treated differently as far as boundaries go?
Thank you to all! Can't wait for the first al-anon meeting tonight.