Good thread!
I can expect to be treated well, but I can't expect someone to change so they will treat me well. The responsibility for my treatment is on my shoulders. That's where the boundaries come in. If someone doesn't treat me the way I want to be treated I can live with that or walk away. I can take some steps to change it like counseling, communication etc. If that doesn't work there is no reason to expect a change even though change is possible. If I stay and hope for a change I am living in hope instead of reality. That's when I need to accept it the way it is and figure out what I want to do about it. I can stay and fill my needs in other ways or leave and fill my needs in other ways. The result of my choices then become my consequences. I can't blame that on anyone else.
Are we standing on a firm foundation based on the reality of today or are we standing on a shaky foundation based on the hope that something different might happen. I gave up hope one day and it was a pretty shocking discovery, but life is much better now.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...4671#post14671
Hugs,
MG