Expectations are pre-meditated resentments, they are deadly, especially in relationships.
I'm trying really hard to understand this and I'm not trying to be argumentative but this sentence is really hard for me to swallow.
I expect a spouse to be human. I expect him to make mistakes. I don't expect him to complete my life.
I do expect him to not hit me. I do expect him to be faithful. I do expect him to have respect for my feelings.
I understand that my husband is an alcoholic. I understand that his alcoholism can prevent him from living up to my expectations. BUT does that mean that I have to give up my expectations of what I believe a loving relationship consists of?
I think that telling people to give up all expectations in life can be harmful.
When I married my husband, I expected him to tell me the truth about where he was and who he was with. I think that is a reasonable expectation. As time went on and he lied to me over and over again, I stopped expecting him to tell the truth. I just settled with the fact that I was being lied to.
If I had the expectation that a husband shouldn't lie to his wife on a consistent basis and I stood strong with that expectation, I would have left him a long time ago.
If I had the expectation that a husband should not be passed out on the couch everynight and stood strong with that expectation, I would have left him a long time ago.
I think that allowing my expectations to dwindle down to nothing is what kept me in this relationship so long. I think that having no expectations is the worst thing I can do.
I think that having expectations and determining whether a person is fulfilling those expectations is an important part of living a good life.
Tell me where I'm off here. I really do want to understand this.
L