Hope, expectations vs. Faith
Expectations are pre-meditated resentments, they are deadly, especially in relationships. Everybody will let you down sooner or later.. typically soon and often. People are people, they make mistakes and these mistakes often impact others.
As to hope.. hope needs to be replaced with faith, faith that your higher power has a better future for you. Misplaced hope can be quite toxic because all too often what we think we want or hope for isn't good for us (remember as a kid how badly you wanted the trainset, dollhouse, bike, [insert here cool thing we wanted and thought would just make our life perfect]. Same principle applies.
Perhaps some of our relationships need to end. Winning the lottery isn't going to make our life perfect, etc... personally, I'm letting go of my dreams and hopes of long life with my now alcoholic wife of 13 1/2 years who left, and replacing them as much as possible with Faith in my higher power (whom I call God). I'm going to trust Him that He knows what's best for me and that if I work on myself, take care of my children, work the steps and cultivate my spritual life, then I will be progressively more open to His small still voice leading me down the correct path. I still have goals and aspirations, but I'm trying to cultivate a sense of mystery and awe about the future.
A very wise fellow in one my meetings said once when speaking of how we all too often over intellectualize life and let the committee in the head run rampant.. "I'm convinced life is really pretty simple, we make it hard." We overthink life. The promises of Al-anon speak of life flowing with ease and grace. This ease and grace comes from letting go and letting God lead us to a better future.
Hang in there, let go, and let God. You are powerless, God isn't, He knows what's best for us and He wants a new, brighter, more fulfilling future for everyone. Work the steps, attend meetings, come back here and post messages, the community is vital to all our recoveries. We need each others support! You are not alone, we're here for you.
Love yourself today!
p.s. If you don't like the term God, substitute your equivalent, I get tired of typing out Higher Power or HP... God is shorter.