Early recovery is a messy, emotional time. Is he in AA or working another program?
I had a long talk with my RAH over the weekend. We've been considering divorce. But one thing that keeps us from just filing those papers is the advice we both get from old-timers to not do anything drastic in the first year of recovery. Let at least that first entire year go by before deciding drastic life changes, including divorce. We live separately right now, thank goodness. Because its been just as much of an emotional roller-coaster as it was when he was actively drinking.
So what else are you doing with your life? Anything new you can try to step outside of this situation for a bit? A new activity, an interest you've wanted to do but never tried? Sometimes we have to force our heads to stop obsessing by distracting ourselves with other activities....
Hang in there. IMHO, it gets worse before it gets better! But it does get better...