Alone...I have also been a SAHM for almost 9 years, and I was thinking through the exact same scenarios just a few short months ago...it is maddening, and it seems there is no perfect answer. But I finally realized that a lot of my angst centers around what "might" happen in the future. Granted, it is an educated guess, but none of that stuff is happening right now. So, I decided I should just focus on the next right thing. For us, it is best that I stay home at least one more year, so that's what I am doing...but let me be clear...the only way he enters into that equation is that he makes it financially possible. When I say "best for us", I mean best for me and the kids. I am also making plans and taking steps to make it financially easier for me to leave if and when that happens. But you know, I have gotten pretty good at detaching over the last few months, and I'm not obsessing about what comes next...I'm finding peace and joy in the here and now and trusting I'll know what comes next when I need to know. I am simply not in control, and I am finally ok with that...relieved, actually. I need to give my HP credit for my new-found outlook, though, because I can assure you I couldn't have fabricated it on my own...it is a gift from my HP. Hope this helps in some way...I am thinking of you and pulling for you!