I am scared to death of financially, physically, and emotionally taking care of 6 kids on my own....I am afraid to fail. You are absolutely right...we dont' have a relationship, I have NO life of my own....and I am So stuck. I knew what people here would say when I posted this. I do see a couselor and am working thru my stuff. And yes...I believe that I must divorce him, and keep my kids safe...but I am scared to death. My ressponsiblities are all consuming. And yes you are right...I have prayed, hoped beyond all hope that something would change and NOTHING ever has. I almost regret posting here because I'm feeling like a broken record...or being percieved as such. I am not blaming him....but although I've always felt like I have had enough self esteem to move on....his comments about how I am "stupid, no one would ever want me, worthless....you name he has said it" linger in my head. It has paralyzed me...knowing what I NEED and WANT to do, but being AFRAID OF IT....at the same time. I apologize if you think that I expect different advice or different thoughts - I do consider carefully what advice experience etc is given here. I AM SO SCARED.