I feel your pain and frustrations...
For me, I had to let go & let God
Whatever happens in the future will happen
I tried to hang on, with lots of wishes and big hopes & dreams of his
recovery.
Decided I needed to have all of those for me first...
I let go of my RAH, and within months he became my XAH
My boundaries were: 0% tolerance to drinking (not one sip or one swallow)
That boundary was for me, not him
After a few things were said & did and his 2 beers, that he thought was okay
after I shared my boundaries...
I knew, being done, was for me
I dont like to pet the snake who bite me over and over again...
Once was enough for me
When your time comes, you will know
You wont care, what he or she thinks or his family
You will care, what YOU think and what YOU want
We all put our heads in the sand and we all put them out at different times
Thats okay...
My stress is way different now than when I was living with him
I still have stress, but its a calming stress, its not a constant worry of
what's and where's he is coming from next...No surprise attacks, maybe is
a better way of putting it
As far as your friends having it way better than you?? (Im cracking up laughing)
One of my friends, kind of said the same thing...
Her husband drinks way too much, but she lives in a million dollar home,
has yard keepers, house keepers, husband is home every night, takes
her on $40 grand vacations, treats her like a queen
""""compared to mine""""""
Mine: Got to the place he couldnt go to work, pissed his pants, passed out
where ever, couldnt remember where he was while driving, got physical,
would steal my money, mentally abused me & my kids, couldnt hardly even
do the yard work unless I told him to do it, treated me like ****
SO, there is a difference in alcoholics, JUST depends on how much those
girl friends really share with you....
How many people have I told that my xah was pissing his pants???
Honestly??... You & my alanon class
And Im pretty outspoken, but that is one thing I dont go and share...
So dont compare your story with all of those other girley friends
because they are probably not as honest as you think...
Back to my girlfriend who lives like a queen...Thats what she
wants everyone to think and she does a good job faking it to everyone
except now, I can see the pain in her eyes, I can see what she does
in her life to "purchase" happiness...It's there, she just deals with it
differently.....
This crap, makes all of our heads think way too much...LOL
Go read my post, $10 grand of rehab, divorce, still loves me, moved away,
still drinking like a fish, and still cant figure out why we are not married...
So if I find the crystal ball, I will surely throw it your way...
Hang in there girl! * Your not alone *