i can't just take my little girl and leave - i would be considered a kidnapper by law, so this is not an option...
You took her away on a vacation and it's every parents right to do that. Permission is not required. You can do that again, but this time with an open return date (in your own mind). Your wife will be forced to file for divorce if she wants custody. With no job and a drug addiction, that isn't happening any time soon.