What haunts me more than anything tonight is that while he was up, I saw a look -- the loose, papery, yellow skin, the sunken eyes, the blue-white fingernails, the dull stare -- that I've only ever seen once before. It was the exact look my uncle had the last time I saw him, ten days before he died from the complications of long-term alcoholism.
Please know you are not alone. Hugs to you, hope you got some rest. Life's troubling issues are magnified when we are exhausted. Take care of You.