Congratulations on 17 months! That is so great!
It is tough to be around an active addict. It's a case of not being able to see the forest for the trees.....in a way. They want to blame everything and everyone around them so that they can avoid the real problem. It's what addicts do. They have four tools that they tend to use very effectively. Fear. Guilt. Pity. Shame. If they can get others trapped into those emotions, it must make them feel better in some way. At least, that's what the addict in my life does.
It is ok to feel sad about it. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do for our own recovery......and unfortunately, we can't bring them with us on our path to recovery. They are walking their own path and none of us can predict what that path will bring.
Your friend will be in my prayers today.
gentle hugs
ke