Him: Are you mad at me? (the day after a binge, I get quiet, I don't want to talk to him, I'd rather be quiet than start a fight - I usually snap out of it in a couple of hours).
Me: No, I'm not mad at you. I understand your need to drink.
Him: I wasn't drinking!
Me: I know you were, I'm not an idiot but it's fine - I'm disappointed is all, you're in an IOP, I don't understand why you don't work your program, but it's your deal. Just let me have my space for a little while, and I'll be fine.
Him: Leave me alone, or "I don't want to hear your crap".
Me: Ok, I'll leave you alone so you don't have to listen to my crap. (hence, I leave for a nice quiet night in a hotel, or go to movie - something by myself).
Him: I'm going to a hotel, I don't want to listen to your crap.
Me: No, I'll go the hotel, I don't want you DWI.
Him: Fine, good.
I check in the hotel, I have a text on my phone, "Come home, I'm sorry"
Me: Sorry, already checked in, will see you in the morning.
When i come home, RAH says he's sorry, he's "done" drinking.
Me: I accept your apology, I'm glad your "done". Good luck with that. I love you.
Him: I don't like it when you sleep in another room.
Me: Well, you know I've told you 100 times I don't like sleeping with you when you are drunk, you snore and you keep me up all night fidgeting around.
Him: I wasn't drinking!
Me: Listen, I'm not an idiot. I will respect your right to drink - but you know I don't like you when you drink, I don't like being around you at all, so you have to respect my right to do whatever I need to do to not be around you when you're drunk.
Him: OK, but I'm sorry, I'm "done" drinking.
Me: That's terrific, good luck with that. I love you!
Kinda sorta the same little dance, in one form or another. I'm glad for this thread, been seeing the term "quacking" alot, wondered what it meant. Do the conversations described constitute quacking? Thanks for "listening"