Hi folks,
I'm overwhelmed with the wisdom and sound advice on this thread - I didn't sleep very well the night it happened so I wrote and edited my formal report and decided to look at it on the way to work the next morning.
There were two incidents that I think are serious breaches of our code of conduct and two that were less serious but still breaches. This started in February. It has gotten worse. She's not my direct report (she's the assistant to another manager who she's careful not to display this kind of behavior in front of) otherwise I'm certain she wouldn't have behaved this way with me. Because she's not my direct report I take it to HP who take it to her manager and then she gets right of reply to the allegations. I'm sure it won't be fun.
But I couldn't not take action. It was unacceptable to me. I can't change her behavior. But I can let HR know that I cannot (I put this in writing) work in an office where I am degraded in front of my coworkers. And that's the truth - I just can't. Not if it's a routine occurence, and it has been.
They (I hope) can't condone an office environment where that happens, either. Or ... they can. What I've done is given them, and her, a boundary. I will leave and find another job where someone doesn't scream at me in public if I have to. I hope I din't have to - but I'm willing to do what I have to to keep my serenity. That whole day I felt the crazies again - fuzzy thinking, heart beating, my own boss siad I looked traumatized when I came into his office - I was.
Can't live like that anymore. Not even when its cause by someone who only does it intermittently.
I hope I finally got the message that it's my job to keep myself safe - the world is going to be full of people and situations that aren't good for me. I know I can't change her - but I work in a company where there's a commitment to keeping a healthy culture. THat's why I chose this job. And if it means waitressing, picking vegetables or doing a paper route - no job is worth my serenity.
Peace out folks, I'll let you know what happens next.
SL xoxoxo