Rings and things
I'm just unloading some emotional baggage, thanks for bearing with me (kinda long sorrry!). My background is that I have been going NC with XABF for a month now.
Over last weekend I went to visit the northeast to check out the area I will soon be moving to. I was feeling very scared and lonely in the new and unfamiliar environment for a number of reasons. I was feeling down thinking about how XABF and I had talked about him moving out there in the near future. My emotions really culminated on Sunday while I was flying back home with my mom. I was upset because it was father's day (I lost my father a few years ago to cancer) and also as mom and I had gotten into a big argument. I was so upset I was in tears on the plane.
I managed to get it together somewhat during the flight though by reading some good literature (special posts from SR that I had!) saved on my phone. I also tried to communicate better with mom and at least got to a bearable state.
Flash forward to when the flight lands. I was sooo glad to be back in the comfort of Southern California once again! I turn on my phone when we are taxiing and look down to be greeted out of nowhere by a text from XABF. Great. It said,
"Hey I hope your trip to the northeast was fun. I just wanted to wish you a happy fathers day and in his honor I found his ring. I hope all is well with you".
Blegh. Blegh. Blegh. It was so out of nowhere yet the timing of it all couldn't have been more ironic. I didn't respond.
It's just been kind of ticking me off now because I didn't want to hear anything at all from him and even think about it, but now I've subconsciously found myself doing just that. The last two nights in a row I dreamt about him (good and bad). He's soo annoying! My favorite part of it all is that he is still so delusional that he almost wants to make himself sound NOBLE or something for finding my dad's ring. The ring which I had given to him during rehab and had asked to GET BACK for so long to no avail. It's a really important ring to me as my father is no longer around and I'm working on how best to deal with the situation and him.
Thanks for listening.